Spreading the Dharma

I had dinner with Michaela this evening, who spoke with us at Young Urban Zen last night.  At 27 she’s the youngest ordained monk at San Francisco Zen Center.  She’s moving back to New Orleans with her partner Koji to support a Zen group there. 

She’s spreading the dharma.  Not too long ago, a phrase like ‘spreading the dharma’ would have felt grandiose to me.  It can still feel that way.  Perhaps the phrase reminds me of 'spreading the gospel,' which because of Christianities unfortunate political face in this country, I unfairly associate with assuming righteousness for yourself and ignorance and immorality for others.  The dharma to me is the exact opposite: it is about not clinging to truth and to right and wrong.  I think my difficulty here is with the word 'spreading,' not the word 'dharma.'  Spreading may appear to imply the desire to get people to see things a certain way.  But I am beginning to want to spread the dharma myself: what does that look like?  For now, it just means being more a part of the sangha. 

I have been feeling grateful for the gift of the dharma - the gift of Buddhism.   And so I am grateful for the spread of Buddhism and I hope it spreads much farther: but what is it that spreads?  Not "this is what is true and right," but, "if you would like to sit in stillness and notice what arises, we will be here for you to help explore that."  That is what I am so thankful for, and that is what I hope spreads.  And yes, scripture too,and tradition, beautiful poetry and art - but never, never the slightest fragment of righteousness.        

When I had that thought that Michaela was going to be helping spread the dharma, I also thought, "spreading the dharma is just a simple, basic part of life."  The tradition is passed from warm hand to warm hand.  Passing on whatever we have that is of help to others seems like a basic human activity.  Even when people have something truly great to give, even when they have an ancient tradition to foster, it can still be a simple, thoughtful  human activity. I think it is powerful to not make a big deal out of powerful things. 

Six months ago while sitting in the zendo, I suddenly, calmly felt how much I had been supported by this sangha - and in particular, felt how much more was going on than having a place to meditate.  I was inheriting a tradition.  This feeling of inheritance was a very visceral feeling, of strength, but also of being held up by many hearts and hands.   In this space I knew that I would like to soon find a way to support the Zen Center, to give back, even if only through more sincere practice.   I imagined myself deepening my practice over the years.  I imagined my generation continuing the tradition in decades to come.  

I shared this memory with Michaela and she had a similar one connected to the moment she took precepts.  I wonder how many of my peers have such thoughts?  There must be many of us who think, “how incredible, to have this place to practice, to have teachers to discuss our practice with, to have a true sangha?  How incredible to live in this city where it all is!”  How many of us feel this down to our bones… but still find endless ways to not practice as we would hope to?  I’m laughing as I write this because I’m thinking, “who knows?  Maybe most people feel this way!”