The happiness/suffering of healing and caring

A beautiful, crisp morning in Golden, Colorado, a small town just outside of Denver where my brother lives. Went for walk while the sunrise was just peaking over the horizon.  A gorgeous landscape of plateaus and peaks, sprinkled with snow from last week. 

People have been expressing concern about my brother’s well-being.  However, although this is a moment of struggle, this is also a very, very good moment.  He’s taken the first major step in healing himself, which is admitting and taking seriously that he has a very big problem to overcome, and that he needs help overcoming.  While I have many emotions, my predominant one is happiness.  Suffering certainly also exists in this moment, but I do not mind so much.  I tend to only mind forms of suffering that create feelings of distance; forms of suffering that involve being close – to people, to myself, to the world – are sufferings I am happy to embrace.

In fact, at times I even cultivate such suffering when I see that beauty will arise from that engagement.  For example, sometimes loving deeply means walking directly into the heart of suffering, noticing everything you can about that suffering, and tending to it with great care.  I hope I have the clarity and strength to make that choice to engage suffering when such moments arise, rather than walk away from love and closeness to get away from suffering.  I tend to prefer the suffering that involves closeness over the lack of suffering that involves distance.  So if you see me suffering, don't worry so much unless you see that it is a suffering of distance!  If it is a suffering of closeness, chances are I am happy to be there.

In other words I am very happy to be here :)

My brother knows that he is – at long last – doing what is right for himself, and I can see that he feels good about that even though the times ahead will continue to be painful.  At least it will be painful with a sense of moving forward, and there will be much love mixed in with it.  

Now that the healing progress has begun, let us hope that he heals to the greatest extent possible, and fully embraces and manifests the great beauty that is in his heart.      

Ah, he has just woken up, and looks ten times better than he did last night!  We’re off to take a twenty minute walk to the nearest coffee shop, which will be a great way to start the day together, and then we’ll start packing and taking care of business.

Love to all of you,

Lynn