11pm. Posted a couple facebook pics of roommates. In current, heartbroken, reflective state of mind, spend more time looking at faces and body language, and thereby see these people I know well... more deeply. Such a story - universe! - behind each posture and facial expression! I often do not actually look at them.
This is what I believe Paul Haller, the current abbot of City Center, to mean by attending to the moment. In the moment, you really look at whats in front of you. What does "really looking" mean...? Ask Dogen! (You'll likely get something like, "The true nature of thinking and non-thinking is emptiness.") . At any rate, that's what zazen, and Buddhism, is ultimately about for me - seeing and loving what's in front of me: seeing and loving existing as a unity for me. Really seeing, feeling, soaking up, loving... but not necessarily understanding... the face in front of me, the posture, the being.
Although a good man - I have been reflecting on this after hurting someone, and it is true - I spend a great deal of time not seeing. Having recently let a woman down, and having reflected on it, I feel this quite acutely in the moment. Paul often talks about Buddhism as attending to the moment... I would just emphasize more than he does that this is how to love. (Of course I emphasize this, because for me, absolutely nothing matters more than love, and zazen is ultimately a practice in the service of love.) Check out his podcasts:
http://feeds.feedburner.com/SanFranciscoZenCenterPublicLectures
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